Disney Princesses vs. Open-Eyed Sneezes
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting
One day my daughter told me that she is the only girl in her class who doesn’t have a princess backpack. She wasn’t complaining, however. She was merely making an observation. It was no surprise to me and I was surely thrilled. Why should her bookbag look like everyone else’s? She had never even seen half of these characters until she started school.
At a flea market one day, my husband found a tasteful, handmade Snow White dress and bought it. It would be years before anyone would be able to wear it, but it was purchased and put away much like many of our other frugal buys, including my daughter’s junior-sized, plain blue, Lands’ End, non-princess back pack. Although the dress was probably made for a six-year-old, last year, at the age of four, it fit my daughter for Halloween. My little girl didn’t know who Snow White was, much less any of the other newly-appropriated Disney princesses, so some time before she was to don her disguise, we showed her the movie. No need for any other princess purchases, but that of the black wig.
Now, a year later, my daughter rubs elbows daily with children who are all too familiar with the trendy toys and looks. She likely follows converstions pretty well without really knowing what they’re about. She’ll describe one friend as “the girl with the Hannah Montana coat” and I’ll be able to pick her out, but neither of us knows anything about Miss Montana other than what she looks like. How could we not know that?
My daughter is different with a purpose. I always strived to be different as a child. I don’t know when it started. Perhaps I just noticed that we’re all different anyway, so why not try to stand out? It was a bumpy ride at times, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
In my twenties, I started wearing mascara and I refused to open my mouth while applying it just because everyone else does it that way. It doesn’t really help. It’s just some kind of instinct and I declined to partake. I also heard, around this time, that it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Well, not only did I feel I had to prove my superiority to the authorities of facial impulses, it also happened to be a practical matter one day as I was in the middle of closed-mouthedly applying my mascara. There I was having to sneeze and it was going to leave my makeup a blotchy mess, so I just didn’t close my eyes. It did take some effort, but it was not impossible.
Now, I really don’t mind if my children spend their lives clenching their eyes with every sneeze. They may even buy something just because someone else has it one day (but not with my money). What I do want is for them to end up being independent thinkers with some self-confidence. That would be different.
Tags: being different, Disney Princesses, Parenting
Time and Again
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting
So often I hear people say that there just aren’t enough hours in a day. I can understand the complaint. By the time you go to bed, there are always so many things that didn’t get done. There are leftover projects, in my case some are more than a decade old, and of course the little tasks you just didn’t get to. Today I was going to vaccuum and mop, clean the bathroom, go to the post office, buy a bottle of wine and wrap it in a gift, take my children to the playground, cook, fold and put away some laundry and change my toenail polish. Instead, by 6:30 in the morning, I was cleaning up more blood than should have resulted from a little bump to my daughter’s nose while trying to quiet the wails of the emotionally injured party and my son, the terrified accidental injurer. I could tell by then that we were going to have a busy day (as if my mental to-do list wouldn’t have already given me that idea).
I managed to clean the blood off of the floor and out of my daughter’s pajamas and proceeded to tackle my list. By the end of the day, I had gone to the post office and the liquor store, taken the children to the playground and given them a long bubble bath, folded and put away the laundry, assembled, but not wrapped the gift, made green smoothies and frozen some into pops, heated up leftovers and watched a movie (Doubt- great characters and Meryl Streep is fabulous!) and typed in only the title of this post as “today” is actually yesterday because I was too exhausted to stay up and write it.
By the time I got to the playground, having walked uphill while pushing a loaded stroller in thick NYC August HEAT, I was ready to have the day end. While most people complain that they don’t have enough hours in a day, I think that there are just too many!
I have gotten many an awed and respectful look when I tell people that my children are asleep by 7 o’clock. Frankly, they’ve done so much by then, I wouldn’t be able to keep them up if I wanted to. Then they say something like, “Then you have all that time to yourself.” Sure. That’s when I should work on my art or writing, organize papers, even finish some household chores, ooh have a bubble bath, but by 7:01, I’m ready to go to sleep myself. I usually stay up because I don’t want my husband to watch a movie without me. Often, however, we watch half a movie because he finds me with my eyes closed at some point.
I can’t even imagine what it would be like without my wonderful husband. He does so much for me and still, things don’t get done and everyone is pooped before the end of the day. Time usually moves too quickly for us all, leaving us with more to do tomorrow, but tomorrow will bring more time and, while it won’t be enough either, to me it just seems like too much!
Really, it’s just that I’m a morning person. I would prefer to work for four hours then sleep for six and start again. That way, I’d always be working in the morning. I would be very productive and not at all tired. Alas, my wish list leaves me always wanting.
Tags: Chores, Parenting, Time, Time Management
