The Birth You Need
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
When I was new to my doula practice, I made up some marketing materials that said, “Helping you have the birth you want.” I even ended some e-mails by sending people best wishes for the birth they want. I was trying to convey that, my agenda as a doula is not to inflict my beliefs on clients’ births.
I still feel this way. I try to give people the knowledge they need to make informed decisions without my biases. I’ve supported families in a variety of settings and scenarios that I would not choose myself. I’ve attended many births that were far from my ideal happily, knowing that the women had their own choices to make.
I’d like to think that I even still wish a little that people get to have the birth they want, especially my clients. It would be great if, after their births, everyone said, “Thanks, doula, that’s just what I wanted.” It might be great on some level, but what I really wish for people is that they have the birth that they need. Unfortunately, we don’t usually know what that might look like until afterwards, sometimes for a long time.
After all, I wouldn’t even be a doula if I had gotten the birth I had wanted. I got a very different birth, the one I needed to bring me to this beautiful place in my life. Every decision I made during those three days of birthing brought me further away from what I wanted and closer to what I needed. In the weeks that followed I had to release my misguided ideals and face the realities of the birthing world, eventually finding that I had a place in it.
Many women wish for fast labors. I’ve seen a couple of fast labors that left the women needing to catch up emotionally. These women often wish things had gone more slowly and need much more time to process. I wouldn’t wish a fast labor on anyone, even if it means overtime for me.
Some women have the coveted “easy” labors. They often overwork their bodies in the postpartum period and pass blood clots or faint in the middle of the street. Worse though, they aren’t connected with their power as women. It’s easy to feel that you can do anything after experiencing the amazing things your body can do in labor.
As a doula, I too have attended births that were, not so much what I wanted, but what I needed. I’ve learned things from every birth, some more than others, and I always need that, to learn and to grow.
It is an honor to be with families as they go through their journeys and grow. It isn’t always easy and it often involves some unexpected things, but it is truly a gift of life in more ways than one.
Tags: childbirth, doula, labor
Birth Bracelet
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
I am thrilled to share this idea. I’m sorry to say it’s not mine originally, but I think it’s great so I’ve adopted it. It’s a bracelet made with memory wire and a bead for each birth I’ve been a part of. At my postpartum visits, I ask each woman to choose a bead to add which represents her birth.
Tags: Beading, childbirth, doula
Labor-Inducing Cookie Recipe
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
I loved being pregnant and was never in a hurry to be done with it. Many women, however, are eager for labor to begin and so it is easy to find advice on how to induce labor. There are lots of things to try, some safer than others. Ultimately, they won’t work unless your baby is really ready to come out. Spicy food is supposed to induce labor, probably because of the way it will stimulate your bowels. If you’re not prone to heartburn, I say this is a good excuse to eat a plate of cookies. Alas, I do miss the days of pregnancy!
2 ½ C flour
1 ½ t baking soda
¾ t cinnamon
1 t ground ginger
½ t ground cloves
½ t salt
½ t cayenne pepper
8 T butter
½ C sugar
1 C brown sugar
1/3 C molasses
¼ C egg whites
Preheat oven to 350°. Combine flour, baking soda and spices and set
aside. Cream the butter and sugars together. Add the molasses to the creamed
butter, then add the egg whites until combined. Add the dry ingredients
slowly. Once incorporated, roll dough into 1 inch balls and place onto
baking tray. Bake 8-10 minutes. Recipe by Gale Gand.
Cool. Eat. Hope for a baby.
Tags: childbirth, cookie recipe, Gale Gand, inducing labor, labor
Unassisted Births on the Rise
Posted by doularama | Filed under News
I find lately that many people are unaware that there are women who choose to give birth at home with no medical professional present. Unassisted (UC) births are becoming more and more popular, but are still quite unknown. I am not an advocate of UC births nor do I condemn them. I just feel that it is important for women to know their options. The biggest problem I have with our birth culture is that so many of us just don’t know so much. We go along with what everyone else does and don’t even know what else is available. So here’s a basic story for you to get some information from msnbc. Knowing that it’s an option is just the beginning, though. Just like all the others, it should be well-researched in advance.
Tags: childbirth, UC, Unassisted Birth
Support for Doulas
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
The other day I got calls from three different doulas who were seeking support. One of them called me excitedly to report that she was on her way to a birth and then again, about six hours later to tell me that she was on her way home. She told me how fast and easy it had been and, of course, that she was very happy. I listened to a few details and then she went home to rest.
The next doula called me a few times throughout the day. This birth wasn’t going so smoothly and she thought she was calling me for advice. All I did, though, was listen. She presented a situation and told me what she had said or done and I just held her hand over the phone so that she wasn’t alone.
The last call was from a doula who had been at a long, emotionally-charged, yet satisfying birth. It was over now and she just needed to release. How else would she have been able to sleep that night?
Each of these doulas needed a sounding board. They didn’t turn to me for my expertise. They just needed a pair of ears with a heart that could relate and perhaps a shoulder to lean on. Perhaps everyone needs to debrief at the end of the day, but clearly some of us need it more than others. I think doulas can be a particularly needy group. After spending so much time supporting others, we need a little support ourselves.
Tags: child birth, childbirth, doulas, support
Twilight Sleep
Posted by doularama | Filed under News
Twilight sleep is a state of finely balanced semi-consciousness. In 1902, doctors in Germany started injecting laboring women with morphine and scopolamine. When combined, these drugs induce a semi-narcotic state which allows women to have the experience of childbirth WITHOUT THE MEMORY OF PAIN. The goal was not anesthesia, but amnesia.
It wasn’t long before this was the popular birthing procedure in the U.S.. The method was said to dull the pain yet women were restrained and strapped to gurneys for their own protection as they thrashed around in bed, freed from their inhibitions by the drugs, but not entirely freed from the pain. Some had their legs clamped in stirrups for hours in order to be ready when the doctor arrived.
The women, while responding somewhat to pain, did not remember it after delivering their babies. They didn’t remember the pain or the actual deliveries.
At the time, the medical consensus was that scopolamin-morphin was without danger to the babies.
This idea would eventually change as the negative side effects of twilight sleep came into the light.
Some of the complications noted were emotional. Removing the mother from the experience of childbirth, leaving her with no memory of the labor or delivery of the child is definitely a side effect.
However, more severely, the drugs had depressive effects on the central nervous systems of the newborns. This resulted in a drowsy baby with a compromised breathing capacity.
As if this wasn’t enough, let’s take another look at the following phrase: the experience of childbirth without the memory of pain. Is this not colossal disrespect!?! Ironically it was the suffragists who rallied for it to become standard procedure throughout the country.
By the mid 1970s, twilight sleep was no longer being used, but the labor and delivery staff of the previous generation had lots of stories to tell while the mothers had none. They just couldn’t remember.
Tags: childbirth, Twilight Sleep
In the Caul
Posted by doularama | Filed under Birth Stories, News
Caul is the term used for the amniotic sac when it is still intact around the baby at birth. Fewer than one in one thousand babies are reported to be born in the caul, and there are some old beliefs surrounding these births. Among them is the idea that a baby who is born in the caul will have good luck
I am not really superstitious- I happily believe some of the positive (things) and leave the rest behind. I’ll even go as far as saying that Friday the 13th brings me good luck because, if everyone has bad luck on that day, the good luck has to go somewhere. So, I’ll often see the positive portents in my life, and recognize nary an ominous omen.
I feel like I came into birth work in the caul. I have been very lucky. I’ve had great mentors and many opportunities for continuing education. I’m usually called to births after breakfast and get home before dinner. I get women to the hospital just before they need to push, leaving no time for interventions, and homebirths speed right along too.
The last two homebirths I assisted were attended by the same midwife. For the first one, she arrived just three minutes before the baby was born. Things were just going so smoothly and everyone was coping well, it was hard to tell that it would end so soon. For the second one, she arrived a little less than an hour before the little caul-enveloped girl emerged. The midwife told me that I am very calming and that’s why labors go so quickly for me. Well, “calm” is the one word everyone uses to describe this midwife. What a compliment it was to have her say that about me.
Now I’m on call for another client with the same midwife. Some might suspect that my luck should run out by now, I choose not to worry myself with those thoughts and just take the challenges as they come (if they come).
I don’t think there are any long- standing beliefs about the people who are present when a baby is born in the caul. Well, there is now and you better believe it’s a good one.
The midwife mentioned above had an aunt who was also a caulbearer. She died the day the little girl speedily came out in her own caul. That’s not superstition, it’s just fact, but I like to believe that those coincidences are significant too.
Check out some amazing photos and some more info HERE.
Tags: caul, childbirth, in the caul, midwife, Navelgazing Midwife
Laborades for Labor Aid
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
These recipes can be enjoyed as drinks or labor cubes. I suggest that you make them in advance and have ice cubes ready in case that’s what you would like during labor.
Make a strong batch of red raspberry leaf tea and add enough honey to make it sweeter than you would normally have it.
*The honey will provide energy.
*Red raspberry leaf relaxes and tones the uterus while nourishing with vitamins and minerals. It can also reduce nausea, help with labor pains and even increase the flow of milk.
*****************************************************************************
In a blender combine:
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup honey
1/4 tsp salt
2 calcium/magnesium tablets, crushed
3 cups water
*The lemon juice helps with nausea
*The honey provides energy
*The lack of calcium lowers the threshold for pain and sufficient calcium is necessary for the blood to clot (important in preventing hemorrhage). It is also good for the heart in times of stress.
*Magnesium is the prime regulator of calcium flow within the cells. It helps the uterus contract efficiently, and fully relax between contractions. It also alleviates nervous tension.
*The water will make it all palatable and help KEEP YOU HYDRATED.
Tags: childbirth, hydration, laborade, laboraid, recipes
Birth Art
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
I am taking the Teaching Birth Art course through Birthing from Withtin. The drawing below is the product of the assignment for which I had to draw a birth that was going well. It is called Nothing but Peace and Love. Originally, my hands were on the woman and it looked really wrong to me. I saw that I didn’t need hands, just heart. I tell people that often the presence of a doula alone can make a difference. When I thought I was done, I became obsessed with making it simple and turned most of the page black. I rubbed and rubbed so that none of the page would show through. As a doula, I often work hard to make it look like nothing is going on too.
Tags: Birth Art Process, Birthing from Within, childbirth, doulas
What is a Rebozo?
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
I’ve never used a rebozo at a birth because, up until a few weeks ago, I wasn’t trained and didn’t really know what to do with one. Several months ago, I wondered if one of those five-dollar “pashmina” shawls that are being peddled by any one of the hundreds of street and small store salesmen in my fine city would do as a rebozo until I figured out what to do with a real one and bought it. I threw one in my doula bag, mostly in case someone was cold during a birth, but also in case I got up the courage to use it. I never took it out, as births are usually warmer than cold and my rebozo experimentation never poked it’s head at those times. Recently, when placing an order through the DONA Boutique, I saw that they are selling rebozos for only $10. That is a bargain! To my surprise they had one in black. My doula motif is mostly black and white (and oh, how it isn’t), so that’s the one I had to have. I laughed when my package arrived and I saw that my rebozo looked like it had been purchased by the Nigerian guy on Broadway and 74th Street, same package and all. It doesn’t matter that it cost me twice as much. At least I know that the shawl I already have in my bag will indeed suffice as a rebozo. I’m sure DONA can put the profits to good use too.
The rebozo is a traditional Mexican garment, like a long shawl or Spanish mantilla. In addition to its use as a shawl, it is multifunctional, being used during pregnancy, labor and as a baby or toddler carrier. During pregnancy, it is used to counteract back pain, during labor to help the mother into various positions, for relaxation and to adjust the position of the baby.
When used by a doula, the rebozo is like an extension of the arms, allowing one to help support the woman’s weight and helping to ensure that she is in a good position. During the pushing stage of labor, it can be used like a tug-of-war rope to help the mother focus her pushing and widen the pelvic outlet. The rebozo can be used by a midwife to assist in repositioning a posterior or breech baby.
The most basic technique one can practice with a rebozo is used to relax the soft tissues of the abdomen and the broad uterine ligaments. It is called jiggling or sifting and is pretty much what these names imply. This method can also be used during pregnancy to help the baby get into the optimal position for birth.
For photos and videos on these techniques and more, visit Spinning Babies and Birthing Essentials.
For books and other related materials, check out The Rebozo Way Project.
For more uses, view Midwifery Today’s Transcription of the Rebozo Workshop Given by Dona Irene Sotelo and Naoli Vianver.
So, go out and get a cheap pashmina shawl. Dress it up, dress it down and carry your groceries home from the farmer’s market in it. Then, when you’re pregnant, it will help you relax and get your baby into the right position for birth. When the time comes, it will be right there to help you in labor and even support you in pushing your baby out. How great that you can then use it to carry that baby. On second thought, maybe you don’t want to get such a cheap one.
Tags: childbirth, DONA, doula, labor, Pashmina, pregnancy, Rebozo, Rebozos, Using a Rebozo
