Paper or Oshibori?
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting, Recommendations
The day my daughter turned six-months-old, she had her first bit of solid food. It wasn’t very solid, but it was officially her first taste of table food. If I had let her, she would have eaten the whole sweet potato. Anyway, at that point I was no longer just dealing with spit-up and poop messes, but with a whole new world of food everywhere. I was prepared, though, with a set of rags for the floor and towels for the table and my very special microfiber towels for my baby’s face and hands.
I bought the microfiber towels at an auto store and, five years later, we’re still using them. They’re soft, absorbent, long-lasting and inexpensive. While we do have a stack of paper napkins at the center of the table, they are only for guests. My children ask for the rag when they need it, I am a neat eater and my husband just doesn’t seem to care much about food on his face and hands.
My children don’t need frequent reminders not to waste paper. They have seen the reason to conserve and they won’t soon forget it. Last year, while vacationing in the Adirondack Mountains, we decided to go for a hike. Really, it was my husband and daughter who decided and I just went along hoping I wouldn’t get any dirt on my boots. We picked up a pamphlet with some directions for area hikes and selected one of the more family-friendly ones, my children being young and me being a priss.
When we got to the site, we found that the directions were somewhat confusing and, after a bit of going back and forth, we decided to go this way rather than that way and off we were on what was obviously the right trail. Well, it would have been the right trail had we intended to trespass on the property of I-don’t-know-what paper company, which is exactly what we were doing.
We’ve gone on nice hikes in the lush “forests” of Van Cortlandt Park near our home in the Bronx and here we were in the wild Adirondacks surrounded by smelly wasteland and oily puddles. It wasn’t a lovely hike, but it was useful in our household as the waste-not lesson goes easily taught with a simple, “Remember the forest in the Adirondacks?”
About a year ago I discovered that school children in Japan have, packed with their bento boxes, moist towels called oshibori. You can just imagine the variety of whimsical cases they sell for them. I remember being given warm, moist towels on airplanes and in restaurants as a child. Those days are gone, but the idea of the oshibori lives on in my family. When packing lunch for one of our outings now, we always include at least one oshibori rather than paper napkins. Not only are we conserving paper, but a wet washcloth is much more handy than a dry napkin even for a neat eater like me.
Tags: adirondack mountains, oshibori, recycling
Sesame Street Scandal
Posted by doularama | Filed under Uncategorized
The scandalous part about this video clip is that it’s so old! This should be a normal part of what children view on television and in the world around them. It wouldn’t need an explanation if it were. Well, Maybe to a bird.
Tags: Breastfeeding, children's television, Sesame Street
Letting them Flourish
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting
You may think that I am posting the following video because of it’s tear-jerking quality or sappy music, but those are not the only reasons. When my daughter talks about being a doctor, I whisper “midwife” hoping it will affect her subconcious. In March, my son will start ballet classes and I should be ready for him to like them less than we had hoped. We want so much for our children, don’t we? Really, we should just want them to be themselves even if we are surprised at who those selves are.
“When I let go of who I wanted her to be and just let her ‘be’ she completely flourished and I reveled in knowing she’s perfect just the way she is.”
Unitasking
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
It is the first of January, 2010 and I started the day by listening to straggling revelers, plotting my cleaning and cooking path for the day, composing an e-mail, planning my outfit for Sunday, thinking about the coming births for which I am on call, willing away a starting migraine and trying to relax and fall asleep. It was 5am and I would be in better spirits now had I been just sleeping.
Unfortunately, like too many of us, I am a multitasker. As I type this, I am making juice, planning tomorrow’s itinerary and talking, squeezing as much as possible in the little time I have. I am remarkably adept at the physical challenge of patting my head while rubbing my abs and switching hands swiftly. Where has that gotten me in life?
My husband has a marvelous ability to focus and tune everything out but for his task at hand. To an outsider it may look like I preface half of my interactions with him with a plea for permission to speak, but actually I’ve learned that not getting his attention first will land me in a monologue. He has accomplished in this way many great things. I am merely able to do lots and lots of little things.
My two greatest accomplishments did involve some extent of unitasking, I suppose. The brain of a pregnant woman shrinks about 7% because she needs to concentrate on a particular job. She is making a human being and this takes a great deal of focused energy even when she doesn’t realize it.
Studies have shown that multitasking is, in fact, inefficient, but I don’t think that will stop me or many of you from overdemanding productivity from so many of our minutes. I will, however, try to focus on some of my undertakings with a little more zeal for simplistic accomplishment. Perhaps during breakfast with my children or yoga or, at least, during savasana in yoga, when I am supposed to be deeply relaxed. For me, these are great endeavors, worthy of my focus.
Unassisted Births on the Rise
Posted by doularama | Filed under News
I find lately that many people are unaware that there are women who choose to give birth at home with no medical professional present. Unassisted (UC) births are becoming more and more popular, but are still quite unknown. I am not an advocate of UC births nor do I condemn them. I just feel that it is important for women to know their options. The biggest problem I have with our birth culture is that so many of us just don’t know so much. We go along with what everyone else does and don’t even know what else is available. So here’s a basic story for you to get some information from msnbc. Knowing that it’s an option is just the beginning, though. Just like all the others, it should be well-researched in advance.
Tags: childbirth, UC, Unassisted Birth
DoulaRina’s Holiday Shopping Guide
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
Those who know me may be surprised to learn that I, who so disrelish the commercialism of this season, have written such a blog post. The rest of you will likely be disappointed by my suggestions, but my hope is that I give all of you some ideas you wouldn’t have thought of on your own, probably because their usefulness makes them so boring. I’m not recommending you give your mother an iron on Mother’s Day, though. I think that these gifts will be more appreciated than that subtle suggestion to keep up the good work.
First I should clarify that I am a birth junkie and, as such, am giving here suggestions for the pregnant woman you may know. If you are looking for a shopping guide for someone else, all I say to you is shame- you should have done your shopping last January.
So, if you’re shopping for a pregnant woman and you’re reading this blog, it is quite likely that you can look up her registry and shop from where you are sitting. I don’t discourage that. I like to buy gifts from people’s registries because I know I’ve chosen something that they want (and hopefully need, but with baby things, there is sooo much they just don’t need). I don’t stop there, however. I like to add something to the gift so that it is more personal and thoughtful and so they don’t end up knowing how much I’ve spent. Go ahead and buy the bouncer, but then add a book. Not to be read while the baby is bouncing- I was thinking more along the lines of Active Birth by Janet Balaskas, The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger, Birth by Tina Cassidy or maybe The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin (which she should leave lying around for her partner to pick up). Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin has some inspiring birth stories she can easily read without realizing how much she’s getting from them. There are so many great books. For some more suggestions, click on my books tab. You might also consider getting her a mix of herbs to use in a sitz bath or regular bath to heal her postpartum perineum. I make a lovely organic batch you can purchase by contacting me.
Another fabulous idea is some spa time. This is actually good for any adult on your list. In fact, if you know me personally, please assume I am hinting directly to you. A gift certificate to a spa that has regular packages as well as prenatal massage is great because she can choose to use it while she’s pregnant or some time afterwards, when she will probably need it just as much. If she hasn’t used it by the time the baby is born, however, part of your gift should be a nudge to get going as it is likely she will never find the time to do it on her own.
My final suggestion is to offer to pay, either partially or in full, alone or with some friends, for the services of a doula. You might choose a birth doula or a postpartum doula or have the mother-to-be decide which she would prefer. Either way, you shouldn’t actually hire a doula for her, even if you’ve gotten a recommendation for the best doula in town, as hiring a doula is very personal.
I hope that there is a great decrease in the number of unnecessities purchased for the babies of 2010 thanks to this blog.
Happy shopping! (that’s an oxymoron, isn’t it?)
Tags: doulas, gift registries, holiday shopping, pregnancy books, spa
Ocytocin, Super Hormone
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
Just last night, my husband and I were talking about that incomprable feeling one gets around newborns and I told him it was largely hormonal, referring to oxytocin. Oxytocin is my favorite hormone, and reading in The Biology Behind the Milk of Human Kindness that an oxytocin nasal spray was used on test subjects makes me picture oxytocin police spraying people on the streets who obviously need a boost (and it would be obvious). Oxytocin plays many roles in the lives of humans. It helps get the baby out by causing contractions and then it ensures that we will care for that baby by making us feel an overwhelming love for it. Of course, in our capital-loving society, here we see research being done on it’s possible effects on the world of finance. Is it too much to hope that Wall Street will become a little more loving because of this?
Disney Princesses vs. Open-Eyed Sneezes
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting
One day my daughter told me that she is the only girl in her class who doesn’t have a princess backpack. She wasn’t complaining, however. She was merely making an observation. It was no surprise to me and I was surely thrilled. Why should her bookbag look like everyone else’s? She had never even seen half of these characters until she started school.
At a flea market one day, my husband found a tasteful, handmade Snow White dress and bought it. It would be years before anyone would be able to wear it, but it was purchased and put away much like many of our other frugal buys, including my daughter’s junior-sized, plain blue, Lands’ End, non-princess back pack. Although the dress was probably made for a six-year-old, last year, at the age of four, it fit my daughter for Halloween. My little girl didn’t know who Snow White was, much less any of the other newly-appropriated Disney princesses, so some time before she was to don her disguise, we showed her the movie. No need for any other princess purchases, but that of the black wig.
Now, a year later, my daughter rubs elbows daily with children who are all too familiar with the trendy toys and looks. She likely follows converstions pretty well without really knowing what they’re about. She’ll describe one friend as “the girl with the Hannah Montana coat” and I’ll be able to pick her out, but neither of us knows anything about Miss Montana other than what she looks like. How could we not know that?
My daughter is different with a purpose. I always strived to be different as a child. I don’t know when it started. Perhaps I just noticed that we’re all different anyway, so why not try to stand out? It was a bumpy ride at times, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
In my twenties, I started wearing mascara and I refused to open my mouth while applying it just because everyone else does it that way. It doesn’t really help. It’s just some kind of instinct and I declined to partake. I also heard, around this time, that it is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Well, not only did I feel I had to prove my superiority to the authorities of facial impulses, it also happened to be a practical matter one day as I was in the middle of closed-mouthedly applying my mascara. There I was having to sneeze and it was going to leave my makeup a blotchy mess, so I just didn’t close my eyes. It did take some effort, but it was not impossible.
Now, I really don’t mind if my children spend their lives clenching their eyes with every sneeze. They may even buy something just because someone else has it one day (but not with my money). What I do want is for them to end up being independent thinkers with some self-confidence. That would be different.
Tags: being different, Disney Princesses, Parenting
Formula-Fed America
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
Oh my goodness! I haven’t been to the movies in years and this might just get me out there. Something tells me, however, that it won’t be a date night with my husband. Maybe he’ll meet me afterwards. I hope it’s not just being released on DVD- I need a good excuse to sit in a room full of adults for a couple of hours. Anyway, here’s the trailer. Please jump on the bandwagon. Too many of us don’t take a strong position on breastfeeding because we don’t want to make anyone feel bad. How much harm are we doing so that we don’t hurt their feelings? Share the facts and you’re bound to change some minds. See you in the movies…
Formula Fed America
Tags: Breastfeeding, Formula Fed America Movie, Formula Feeding
How to Find Safe Personal Care Products
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting, Recommendations
At a recent postpartum visit, a client asked me what skincare products I recommended for her newborn and sensitive preschooler. I responded as a mother who has spent much time finding just the right personal care items for my family. I gave her the names of the products we use and then I gave her much more. I told her to check the Environmental Working Group‘s cosmetics safety database called Skin Deep. There, they have reviews of over 40,000 skincare products based on the effect their ingredients may have on us and the environment.
Just because your shampoo is “natural” doesn’t mean it isn’t slowly making you sick, you know. If you don’t find your brand in EWG’s database, you can do searches for the ingredients. Start with the most multisyllabic, I say. You can also see what they recommend based on the type of product you need. You will find results in a range of prices. If you’re in a hurry, you can quickly check out their Parent’s Buying Guide where you will find only the top-rated products.
I am so happy to be sharing this information with you! Good luck.
Tags: Environmental Working Group, EWG, Natural Skincare, Skin Deep
