Fear Not Birth
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
I have been thinking a great deal about fear and birth. We teach and learn the importance of relaxation for a laboring woman. Lets not forget, though, the importance of eliminating fear from the labor room entirely.
All of my students have heard me talk about the gazelle laboring on the savanna. She will go off alone, at night to birth in private and SAFETY. If she senses that there is a lion nearby, her labor will stop so that she can flee. She doesn’t think about it and plan her getaway. It just happens. The hormones of fear drive the hormones of labor down.
What a great system this gazelle has going on! She shares it with other mammals, though, including humans. The problem with the humans is that our lions come in many forms. Instead of stopping labor to escape a predator, we are stopping labor because we’re so smart and we can think of all sorts of things to go wrong. Women’s labors stop or slow en route to the hospital, upon arriving, because the wrong doctor is on call, because they think they are progressing too slowly, because the next contraction may be too hard. Sometimes their cervices even close after being open! It happened to me for one of the above reasons.
So we tell women to relax and trust birth. We massage them, breath with them and hypnotize them. They are now buttery, unaware of the goings on around them, producing nary a hormone of fear. But how about everyone else?
Some people believe that a woman in labor is psychic. I think we can keep the conversation on a more tangible plain while addressing this same idea.
We give credit to other animals for smelling our fear, but no one talks about it with humans! Perhaps we think we are too smart, that we can communicate and pick up on fear in other, more obvious ways. What if we are giving off pheromones in the labor room that say, “I don’t know if this is going to work!” or “This looks really hard. I feel so bad for her?” Might a laboring woman smell our fear, psychic or not?
Frankly, I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s pheromones or something else being sensed, but, as a doula or friend (or grandmother someday), I don’t want to be responsible for introducing an energy of fear into the labor room. The fact is that a new mother will not remember your fear, but it may very well have affected her labor.
Before you go into the labor room, make sure that you trust the birthing process, relax, have a massage, take some Rescue Remedy. Save your fear for the lion lurking around the corner of Broadway.
*My last blog post was over a year ago about eating dates in labor. Last week, I noticed other people talking about this no-longer-recent study. I figured I should blog more often in case there’s other stuff I’m ahead of the crowd about. Not likely, but here you have it anyway.
Make Time for Dates in Late Pregnancy
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
While pregnant, many people will tell you to take a babymoon or at least a date before your baby is born so that you can enjoy time to yourself or as a couple before your life changes forever. I don’t disagree with this, but that’s not the kind of date I’m talking about here. It turns out that preliminary studies have shown that eating date fruit in the weeks prior to
your estimated date of birthing decreases the latent phase of the first stage of labor, increases the rate of cervical dilation and decreases the overall need for interventions during labor, including induction and augmentation.
While more studies are warranted, consuming “the fruit of kings” is a small addition to your daily routine with great potential. The women in the study consumed six dates per day starting for weeks prior to their due dates. We already know the importance of eating fruits while pregnant, so go out and buy your dates and plan your date night too!
Watch Me in Karen Brody’s BIRTH for BOLD5
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
I am thrilled to share September, my birth month, with Karen Brody’s BOLD movement, celebrating five years and NYC’s Birth Focus, celebrating ten. They are co-producing a fabulous reading of the new script of BIRTH which includes a VBAC!
Register now to watch the live webcast this Monday, Labor Day, or watch it when it is re-aired every five hours on September 17th and 24th. When you register, you will be entered to win one of many great prizes a grand prize give away of full tuition to Karen Brody’ Birth Facilitator Training Program, FEAR to FREEDOM. The prize is valued at $697 and they are giving away 2, as well as a bunch of other great prizes like books, tshirts, mugs and more. You do not want to miss this raffle!
This is really exciting! Please join us!
The Birth You Need
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
When I was new to my doula practice, I made up some marketing materials that said, “Helping you have the birth you want.” I even ended some e-mails by sending people best wishes for the birth they want. I was trying to convey that, my agenda as a doula is not to inflict my beliefs on clients’ births.
I still feel this way. I try to give people the knowledge they need to make informed decisions without my biases. I’ve supported families in a variety of settings and scenarios that I would not choose myself. I’ve attended many births that were far from my ideal happily, knowing that the women had their own choices to make.
I’d like to think that I even still wish a little that people get to have the birth they want, especially my clients. It would be great if, after their births, everyone said, “Thanks, doula, that’s just what I wanted.” It might be great on some level, but what I really wish for people is that they have the birth that they need. Unfortunately, we don’t usually know what that might look like until afterwards, sometimes for a long time.
After all, I wouldn’t even be a doula if I had gotten the birth I had wanted. I got a very different birth, the one I needed to bring me to this beautiful place in my life. Every decision I made during those three days of birthing brought me further away from what I wanted and closer to what I needed. In the weeks that followed I had to release my misguided ideals and face the realities of the birthing world, eventually finding that I had a place in it.
Many women wish for fast labors. I’ve seen a couple of fast labors that left the women needing to catch up emotionally. These women often wish things had gone more slowly and need much more time to process. I wouldn’t wish a fast labor on anyone, even if it means overtime for me.
Some women have the coveted “easy” labors. They often overwork their bodies in the postpartum period and pass blood clots or faint in the middle of the street. Worse though, they aren’t connected with their power as women. It’s easy to feel that you can do anything after experiencing the amazing things your body can do in labor.
As a doula, I too have attended births that were, not so much what I wanted, but what I needed. I’ve learned things from every birth, some more than others, and I always need that, to learn and to grow.
It is an honor to be with families as they go through their journeys and grow. It isn’t always easy and it often involves some unexpected things, but it is truly a gift of life in more ways than one.
Tags: childbirth, doula, labor
Gentian Violet and Oral Thrush
Posted by doularama | Filed under Parenting, Recommendations
A couple of months ago I visited my dental hygienist for a regular cleaning and we noted some sensitivity at the base of one tooth. She said it was due to gum recession and recommended that I use Listerine Total Care to help build up the enamel or something.
It took me a few weeks to buy it because, when no one is poking me with a sharp metal stick, my teeth aren’t actually sensitive at all. Anyway, I did by the stuff and started using it at night, before bed- half of the recommended time. Within days, I noticed a funny taste in my mouth and thought little of it, but a couple of days later, I looked at my tongue and noticed it was white. The Listerine had offset my perfect bacterial balance and caused an overgrowth of the fungus candida albicans. Now I had a yeast infection in my mouth. It didn’t hurt or bother me, but it wasn’t normal and my husband was basically disgusted by it.
Many of the people I’ve told about it have been disgusted, but I’m sure most of them would happily gobble up any of my delicious mushroom dishes. That’s another issue, though. A few people offered helpful suggestions, but one, offered by two different doulas caused me to write this blog post. Gentian violet. Gentian violet is commonly recommended for thrush in infant’s mouths and on women’s breasts. The recommendation usually comes with the warning that this remedy is very messy and nothing else. The name suggests that this is a natural remedy that perhaps comes from a lovely flower. It is not. Gentian violet works for oral thrush because it is a powerful antifungal chemical. In other words, the living fungi are killed. Sound poisonous? It is. You’re not gong to use nearly enough for it to be a real threat, but I don’t even use toxins to clean, much less to put in my mouth (except for the week of Listerine).
You may still choose to use gentian violet for your baby’s thrush, but do the research first and use it properly. Consider using chamomile, yogurt or bayberry instead. Adults should increase their consumption of good sauerkraut, kimchi, kefir and yogurt. You can even empty the contents of an acidophilus capsule onto your tongue everyday.
I’m glad that my thrush has caused me no pain or discomfort and that it got me back to my blog after so long. I hope that it gets a few people to discover and opt for natural remedies for oral thrush.
Tags: Gentian Violet, Thrush
Prepare Your Child to Spring Forward for Daylight Saving Time
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Parenting, Recommendations
On march 13th, most of us in the United States and in about 150 other countries will be setting our clocks ahead one hour. Some of us won’t and will therefore be running an hour late on Sunday and some of us may not even realize it until Monday! It doesn’t make much sense that we do this because it doesn’t actually gain us or save us any daylight. The earth will rotate and revolve just the same whether we call the time one or two.
For years I have noticed that my children start adjusting their waking time all on their own and usually, when Daylight Saving Time begins or ends, they are largely unaffected. My children are unusually well-rested, however, and are early to bed, early to rise. I imagine that many children probably have a harder time with the sudden time change, so here I offer my suggestions for an easier transition for the whole family and anyone else who might spend time with your children. Afterall, studies have shown that a great number of “behavior problems” are actually due to a lack of sleep.
First you need to know when you need to change your clocks. Even if all of your electronic devices will automatically be updated and you don’t own a watch or analog clock, you should be prepared this year to “lose” an hour on March 13th. The magic shift is supposed to happen at 2am, but I always cheat the system by changing my clocks at about 9pm the night before. I always make up for it by cheating myself by a few hours at the end of DST.
Especially if your child needs to go to school on Monday morning, you should try to gradually ease him or her into the time change. Start about four days in advance by making bedtime fifteen minutes earlier on Thursday, thirty minutes earlier on Friday and forty-five minutes earlier on Saturday. On Sunday night, bedtime can be at the regular time which is now one hour later, but only fifteen minute later than the night before.
Whether you take this advice or not, you should at least be mindful of the fact that the time change will likely affect us all. Remember that children aren’t the only ones who misbehave when they’re tired!
DONA International’s New Video
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
Save Homebirth in New York City
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
At midnight tomorrow, April 30th, the majority of New York City’s home birth midwives will no longer be able to practice legally. Unless immediate action is taken by the Governor and the NYS Department of Health the women that these midwives serve will be denied access to a home birth with their chosen provider and these providers will no longer be able to practice legally in NYS.
YOU MUST ACT NOW to save the home birth option for New York Women:
Call:
*311
*Wendy Saunders, Executive Deputy Commissioner for the NY State Department of Health, appointed by Governor Paterson. 518-474-8390
*Larry Mokhiber, the Secretary of the Board of Midwifery (518-474-3817, extension 130)
With the closing of St. Vincent’s Hospital, half of the licensed, highly trained home birth midwives serving NYC have lost their Written Practice Agreement (WPA). St Vincent’s was the only Hospital in the city supportive of a woman’s right to choose a home birth and willing to sign a WPA. In the weeks since it’s announced closure, these midwives have reached out to hospitals and obstetricians all across the city looking for support, with no success. Please help us to save the homebirth option in New York.
People can also email the Governor at http://www.state.ny.us/governor/contact/GovernorContactForm.php.
Tags: home birth, Homebirth, Midwives, St. Vincent's Hospital
Face of Birth- Homebirth Documentary
Posted by doularama | Filed under News, Recommendations
This preview was a tear-jerker. I’m sure that watching the film will make me angry. I hope it makes many, many people angry!
Face of Birth
Where the personal Gets Political
Tags: Australia, documentary, home birth, Homebirth
Birth Bracelet
Posted by doularama | Filed under Recommendations
I am thrilled to share this idea. I’m sorry to say it’s not mine originally, but I think it’s great so I’ve adopted it. It’s a bracelet made with memory wire and a bead for each birth I’ve been a part of. At my postpartum visits, I ask each woman to choose a bead to add which represents her birth.
Tags: Beading, childbirth, doula
